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Finding the Right Fit

What to ask a therapist during your consultation session.

By Marty Hosier

Seeking therapy is a significant step towards improving your mental health and wellness. However, finding the right therapist can be tricky, yet is vital to a successful therapeutic journey. This post aims to guide you through the process of choosing a therapist that fits your needs.

Ask yourself what issues you want to address and what outcomes you’re hoping for. This self-reflection will inform your choice of therapist. Here are a list of topics you may want to explore before your consultations, if you’re already sure of what you need go ahead and skip this list.

  1. Identifying Issues:
    • What specific issues or problems am I hoping to address in therapy? (e.g., anxiety, depression, relationship problems)
    • Have I noticed any patterns in my thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that I would like to change?
  2. Therapy Goals:
    • What are my main goals for therapy? (e.g., coping strategies, better understanding of self, resolving specific issues)
    • What does a successful therapy outcome look like to me? (If I woke up tomorrow and my life was perfect, what would that look like?)
  3. Personal Preferences:
    • Do I have a preference for the type of therapy or therapeutic approach? (e.g., talk therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, group therapy)
    • Would I feel more comfortable with a therapist of a certain gender, cultural background, or with specific life experiences?
  4. Emotional Readiness:
    • Am I ready to talk about and work through difficult emotions and experiences?
    • How do I typically handle emotional challenges, and what kind of support do I find most helpful?
  5. Practical Considerations:
    • What is my availability for therapy sessions? (e.g., specific days of the week, times of day)
    • Do I have any logistical or financial constraints that could affect my therapy choices?
  6. Support System:
    • Who is in my support system, and how might they be involved in my therapy process?
    • How do I hope therapy will impact my relationships with others?
  7. Previous Therapy Experiences:
    • If I have been in therapy before, what did I find helpful or unhelpful about those experiences?
    • Are there specific qualities in a therapist that I found beneficial or a hinderence in the past?

When selecting a therapist, research their qualifications. Look for a therapist with relevant experience and training in the issues you’re facing. Ensure they are licensed and check if they have any specializations.

In order to do this in California a good resource is the BBS, go to bbs.ca.gov and navigate to “verify a license”. This will help you determine if the therapist is licensed or registered, and if there are any pending issues with their license. You can also search the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT) website to see disciplinary actions.

It’s important to note when verifying license information of trans or non-binary therapists their license may still be registered under their dead name. It’s perfectly okay to ask a trans or non-binary therapist if they’re registered with the BBS under another name.

During the consultation is your opportunity to make sure the therapist you’re meeting with not only is qualified but will be a good fit for you. Normally consultations are about 15-minutes long, so there’s no way you’ll be able to ask all of these questions. My advice is to read through them and highlight ones that are important to you. A lot of questions may be able to be answered by the therapist’s website or online profile. Give yourself 30 minutes or so before the consultation to peruse their website so that you can make the most of your one-on-one time together.

Therapeutic Approach: Inquire about the therapist’s approach to therapy and how it aligns with your needs. Different methodologies, like cognitive-behavioral therapy or psychoanalysis, suit different issues and personalities.
Can you describe your therapeutic approach and how it might help with my specific issues?
Examples: “How do you integrate cognitive-behavioral techniques in your sessions?” or “Can you explain how your approach addresses anxiety or depression?”

Experience: Ask about their experience, particularly with issues similar to yours. Experienced therapists can offer insights and strategies honed over years of practice.
Examples: “What has been your experience in treating clients with trauma?” or “Do you have experience working with clients struggling with addiction?”

Treatment Goals and Duration: Discuss how they set goals and estimate the duration of therapy. Understanding the expected timeline can help set realistic expectations.
Examples: “Can you walk me through the process of setting goals for someone with anxiety?” or “What is a typical timeline for addressing relationship issues in therapy?”

Specialties and Limitations: Find out if they specialize in certain areas and ask about any limitations in their practice. This ensures their expertise matches your needs.
Examples: “Do you specialize in neurodivergent issues?” or “Are there any conditions you don’t treat?”

How to ask if your therapist is LGBTQ/Trans Friendly:
“How do you ensure a safe and affirming space for transgender clients?” or “What training have you had in dealing with issues specific to the LGBTQ+ community?” or “Do you have any lived experience with the LBGTQ+ community?”

Collaboration and Feedback: Understand how they view the therapist-client relationship. A collaborative approach where feedback is welcomed can be crucial for effective therapy.
Examples: “How often do you check in with clients about their progress?” or “What is your approach if I feel a certain method isn’t working for me?”

Logistics: Discuss session frequency, length, and cancellation policies. Also, understand the payment structure and insurance compatibility.
Examples: “How flexible are you with scheduling appointments?” or “Do you offer sliding scale fees or accept [specific] insurance?” or “Do you have a cancellation policy?” or “How long are your normal appointments?”

Confidentiality and Ethics: Ensure they have a strong commitment to confidentiality and ethical practice, which is fundamental in therapy.
Examples: “How do you handle confidentiality in group therapy settings?” or “What is your process if there’s a conflict of interest?”

Outcome Measurement: Ask how they measure progress. Regular assessments can help track the effectiveness of therapy.
Examples: “Do you use specific tools or assessments to track progress?” or “How do we adjust the treatment plan if progress is slower than expected?” or “Do you share quantitative data with clients?”

Emergency Support: Inquire about their availability during emergencies or crises.
Examples: “How can I reach you in case of an urgent issue outside of regular hours?” or “Do you provide resources or referrals for crisis situations?”

Personal Fit: Finally, gauge your comfort level with the therapist. The therapeutic relationship is built on trust and rapport, which are essential for progress.
Examples: “What is your approach to building rapport in early sessions?” or “How can we address any discomfort or concerns I might have during therapy?”

But, choosing the right therapist is a deeply personal and important process. There’s no right or wrong questions to ask. It’s important to take the time to find someone who you feel comfortable with and who has the expertise to address your specific needs. Remember, it’s okay to switch therapists if you feel the fit isn’t right. Your mental health and comfort are paramount.


If you’re ready to start your journey with a therapist who understands and respects your individual needs, feel free to reach out to me for a consultation or even a referral to one of my collegues if I’m not your cup of tea. I’m here to support you every step of the way.

All the best,


Disclaimer:

The accompanying images in this post were created by advanced artificial intelligence (AI) technology. The image is a conceptual representation and not an actual photograph of our facilities.